Divorce is not like a surgery where you go to sleep
and when you wake up, it's all over
Far from it. Divorce is hard work. Resolving to work closely with your attorney and getting it right the first time can greatly affect the outcome of your case. You must commit to doing the homework that is asked of you. You must embrace change and know that your divorce will affect every aspect of your life, often for the better if you allow or will it to. One of the things I find myself saying over and over, and bears repeating:
This too shall pass
Few attorneys set out to work in divorce court. In certain ways, this job found me—I did not find it. You would have to be insane to go into this line of work! I've realized over time that my life energy is best directed towards helping people resolve their issues with partners who are trying to control or take advantage of them. Male or female, gender is not the issue. The issue is whether somebody is acting unfairly or hurting you or your children.
No one wins in divorce
The people who prevail with their dignity intact, those who achieve emancipation on their own terms are active participants in their legal representation. The more organized you are, the more organized your attorney will be. Be prepared to do the homework that is asked of you. Perhaps toughest of all is maintaining a sense of humor in the most unfunny and painful of situations.
I believe in educating my clients in law and procedure. Clients need to know what to expect. Clear thinking is essential. Once you are educated in a few procedures and principles, all related facts become powerful weapons with which to achieve your goals, in an amicable fashion, or, if necessary, at trial. My common sense and "universal" approach to law enhances my ability to help people solve their problems in-and-outside of the courtroom. My organization, and being on good terms with the local courts and knowledgeable as to judicial tendencies can be a tremendous asset to your representation.
Initially, I will ask clients to enlist the help of their divorced friends. Start by asking "What went wrong in your divorce?" Write down these answers and then think about what can be learned from these mistakes. Chances are, if your friend had been better informed, they would not have made the same decisions or the same mistakes. Ask yourself:
How can I become better informed and better organized in my divorce?
If you don't understand something about your divorce, it may be that your attorney doesn't understand either. Like other professions, the practice of marital and family law is highly specialized and full of complexities. You need to be represented by someone who understands the system, the law, and human nature. You'll find that it pays to educate yourself up front, rather than in hindsight.
How do you know what to do in a divorce if you've never been through a divorce?
How do you manage your money?
How do you make it easier for your children?
How do you go about getting a new life?
Professional counseling is a smart option if there is the need to help your family better handle the stress of your divorce (and there ususally is). Make sure you choose the right therapist, someone you think you can work with. Interview them. Find the right fit.
Call my office for help finding a qualified mental health professional who can help you work through your issues
I've been blogging and tweeting about marital law and human nature for over a decade, drawing on my unique experience of "love, law and relationships". There is likely something here that will resonate with you. Check it out:
You can also follow Daytona Divorce on Twitter https://twitter.com/daytonadivorce
Be advised that not all attorneys who handle divorce and family law cases are Board Certified by the State of Florida. Your decision to choose a board certified attorney over a non-specialist is a wise one, as it will affect the outcome of your divorce. More words to the wise:
Interview more than one attorney
This is the only way you'll be able to compare and contrast the "personality" and "energy" of the attorney who will be working closely with you during your divorce; whose work product will affect you for a long time. In your initial consultation, a competent attorney will be interviewing you as well. A successful attorney does not need you, but will take your case based on the passion and energy you bring to the table.
Choose your divorce attorney wisely
According to the Florida Bar Association, there are approximately 93,000 attorneys in Florida. The total number of attorneys who are Florida Board Certified in Marital and Family law (including yours truly) is: 262. These are attorneys who are considered experts in divorce.
I wish you well in your endeavors and hope that you can somehow manage to ..
Divorce your loved one with dignity and honor
Douglas Kneller, Esq
FOR CONSULTATION: PLEASE CALL (386) 257-4699 .. EXTENSION 302
Monday - Thursday: 8am to 4pm
Friday: 8am to 1pm
1112 Riverside Drive
Holly Hill, Florida 32117
• Office Phone: (386) 257-4699
• FAX (386) 257-6516
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P.O. Box 15228
Daytona Beach, Florida 32115
Contact Mr. Kneller
Text me: (386) 212-2799
Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Call me: (386) 257-4699
Fax me: (386) 257-6516
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On Twitter: dougkneller@daytonadivorce
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