Divorce is not like a surgery where you go to sleep
and when you wake up, it's all over
Far from it. Divorce is hard work. Resolving to work closely with your attorney and getting it right the first time can greatly affect the outcome of your case. Commit to doing the homework that is asked of you. Embrace change and know that your divorce will affect every aspect of your life, often for the better if you allow or "will" it to. One of the things I find myself saying, and it bears repeating:
This too shall pass.
Few attorneys set out to work in divorce court. In certain ways, this job found me—I did not find it, as you would have to be insane to go into this line of work. It found me because my life energy is to help people resolve their issues with partners who are trying to control or take advantage of them. Male or female, gender is not always the issue. The issue is whether somebody is acting unfairly to you or your children.
No one wins in divorce.
The people who prevail with their dignity intact and achieve emancipation on their own terms are active participants in their representation. The more organized you are, the more organized your attorney will be. Be prepared to do the homework that is asked of you. Toughest of all is maintaining a sense of humor in perhaps the most painful of situations.
I believe in educating my clients in law and procedure. Clients need to know what to expect. Clear thinking is essential. Once you are educated in these principles, all related facts become powerful weapons with which to achieve your goals in an amicable fashion, or, if necessary, at trial. My common sense and "universal" approach to law enhances my ability to help people solve their problems in- and outside of the courtroom. Being on good terms with the local courts and knowledgeable about judicial tendencies is a tremendous asset to your representation.
Initially, I will ask clients to enlist help from their divorced friends. Start by asking them "What went wrong in your divorce?" and write down these answers. Then turn the tables by determining what can be learned from these mistakes. Chances are, if your friend had been better informed, they would not have made the same decisions or the same mistakes. Ask yourself:
How can I become better informed and better organized in my divorce?
If you don't understand something about your divorce, it may be that your attorney doesn't understand either. Like other professions, the practice of marital law is highly specialized and full of complexities. You need to be represented by someone who understands the system, the law, and human nature. You'll find that it pays to educate yourself up front (rather than in retrospect).
How do you know what to do in a divorce if you've never been through a divorce?
How do you manage your money?
How do you make this easier for your children?
How do you go about getting a new life?
Professional counseling is a smart option if you see the need to help your family better handle the stress of your divorce. Make sure you choose the right therapist. Interview them. Find the right fit.
Call my office for help finding a qualified mental health professionals who will be best suited to helping you work through your issues.
I've been blogging and tweeting about marital law and human nature for the last decade, based on my unique experience of "love, law and relationships." Check it out.
You can follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/daytonadivorce
Be advised that not all attorneys who handle divorce and family law cases are Board Certified by the State of Florida. Your decision to choose a board certified Attorney over a non-specialist is a wise one, as it will affect the outcome of your divorce.
My advice is to interview more than one attorney.
This is the only way you will be able to compare and contrast the "personality" and "energy" of the attorney who will be working closely with you during your divorce. His/her work product will affect you for a long time. In your initial consultation, a competent attorney will be interviewing you as well. A successful attorney does not need you, but will take your case based on the passion and energy you bring to the table.
Choose your divorce attorney wisely.
According to the Florida Bar Association, there are approximately 93,000 attorneys in Florida. The total number of attorneys who are Florida Board Certified in Marital and Family law (including yours truly) is: 262. These are attorneys who are considered "experts" in divorce.
I wish you well in your endeavors and hope that you can somehow manage to ..
Divorce your loved one with dignity and honor.
Douglas Kneller, Esq
Please call Joyce at (386) 257-4699
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P.O. Box 15228
Daytona Beach, Florida 32115
1112 Riverside Drive
Holly Hill, Florida 32117
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Call me: (386) 257-4699
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This website serves as an advertisement for Douglas Kneller, Esq. The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements.
Douglas A. Kneller is certified by the state of Florida in the practice of marital and family law. This website serves as an advertisement for Douglas Kneller, Esq. The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements.